My Stork Needs A GPS – How To Stay Positive During Your Infertility Journey

So in my 3 years I have been TTC, I have seen over 40 of my FaceBook friends get pregnant or have a baby or both. In that time, I have had 2 cancelled IVF’s, 1 failed IUI, 5 losses along with many other things that I already mentioned in past posts, but yet I have no baby. I am anxiously awaiting for it to be my turn. I think my stork needs a GPS! He seems to find everyone else’s house with no problem. Do I need to bake him a cake or invite him in for drinks? Seriously, where the hell did he go? Where ever he is, my uterus and I are waiting for him! So please bring me my baby soon! It has been very hard staying positive during this journey, especially when I keep failing and seeing so many people have a baby (many who aren’t even trying or want to have a baby). Infertility can really chip away at your happiness in life. Although, this frustrates me to no end, I find it will not do me any good to mope or pity myself. So I have been doing several things to help me stay positive until my storks gets his act together. Continue reading “My Stork Needs A GPS – How To Stay Positive During Your Infertility Journey”

My WTF Appointment – 25 Possible Questions To Ask Your Doctor After A Failed Fertility Treatment

In the Infertility World a “WTF Appointment” refers to the follow-up appointment after a failed fertility treatment to discuss “WTF” went wrong. Personally, I think it fits perfectly because that’s exactly how I felt after my 2 cancelled IVF Cycles! WTF Dude????!!! Unfortunately, mine is plural. I’ve had 2 WTF Appointments. Before I get into what happened during my appointments and possible questions to ask your RE, let me tell you a bit about “WTF” happened with my IVF cycles that they both were cancelled. Continue reading “My WTF Appointment – 25 Possible Questions To Ask Your Doctor After A Failed Fertility Treatment”

10 Things To Help You Cope After A Miscarriage

In my 3 years of TTC number two I have had 5 losses. 4 miscarriage (all between 7.5 and 10 weeks) and 1 chemical pregnancy. It is extremely common to have one miscarriage. One out of every four pregnancies ends in miscarriage, but to have 3 or more consecutive miscarriages is rare. Only 1% of women fall into this category. Unfortunately, I am a member of that club. While the physical healing process is usually fairly quick for most women, the emotional healing is another story. During this rollercoaster, you may feel a lot of emotions including, sadness, depression, guilt and anger. Additionally, you may feel apathy and or be in disbelief. Some women are able to move on after the loss quickly, while other women may fall into deep anguish. There is no right or wrong on how you should feel. You will be the only one who can determine how you feel, no one can tell you otherwise. After my 1st miscarriage, I felt every single one of these emotions and possibly more. I’m not kidding you, but after five losses I have learned several things that helped me through this difficult time and calm the turbulence a bit. Although, I will never fully get over my losses, here are some of the steps I have taken to help me heal during this difficult time in my life. Continue reading “10 Things To Help You Cope After A Miscarriage”

“Mommy I Want A Playmate” Dealing With The Guilt of Secondary Infertility

When I was a little girl, one of the questions I got most was “What do you want to be when you grow up?” My answer was A MOMMY! I wanted a big family with 3-4 kids and my mom always used to tell me, “Have one first and then tell me how many you want.” Well, I had one and my answer to her question still remains the same, but at this point I am older and know my ship is sailing quickly, so I pray that I am able to give my son at least one sibling. In an earlier post, “Secondary Infertility and the Stigma Behind Infertility and Miscarriage,” I talked about some of the emotions that secondary infertility bring. One being guilt. One of the reasons I feel guilt is for not being able to give my son a sibling. We are lucky Addison is extremely independent and has never made a big deal about being an only child or really asked for a brother or sister. That is until yesterday! I guess there’s a first time for everything. Continue reading ““Mommy I Want A Playmate” Dealing With The Guilt of Secondary Infertility”

My Surgery Punch Card – Another Bump In The Road In My Infertility Journey

Well, as you can see by the title of this post, I’m going to have to have another D&C and Hysteroscopy. Earlier this week, I went in for my follow-up appointment after my surgery and had my SIS (Saline Infused Sonogram). After already having two that hurt like a mother, I decided to take 2 Advil to try to lessen the pain.  As soon as I came in, they needed to take a urine pregnancy test. Ummm, I’m pretty sure I’m not pregnant. I had my D&C a little over a month ago, my period just ended and my HCG blood work last week was only 3! Plus, I didn’t have sex all of last month and was pregnant the month before that. Unless I am the Virgin Mary, there is no way I was pregnant. Whatever, I guess I’ll pay the $35 for your pee test that cost me $5 just so you have a piece of mind that my HCG blood work last week wasn’t a false positive. As I expected, the test was BFN (Big Fat Negative)! What a surprise!

Continue reading “My Surgery Punch Card – Another Bump In The Road In My Infertility Journey”

Baby Story My A$$!

After Jesse and I got married at the age of almost 31, we decided to start trying right away. Much to our surprise, it only took 1 month to for us to get pregnant and were blessed with our perfect son Addison 3 months before my 33rd birthday. Yes, I have secondary infertility. Like most women with secondary infertility I never thought I would have issue having another child. In hind site, I wish I wouldn’t of waited to start trying again, but this is where I’m at and the path we are suppose to take. At least that is what I keep telling myself. Continue reading “Baby Story My A$$!”

Secondary Infertility and the Stigma Behind Infertility and Miscarriage

Resolve is the National Association of Infertility and defines Secondary Infertility as the “Inability to become pregnant, or to carry a pregnancy to term, following the birth of one or more biological children. The birth of the first child does not involve any assisted reproductive technologies or fertility medications.”

Yep, that’s me. It’s something I never thought I would be a part of. I don’t know how many times I’ve answered questions like; Is he your only chid and Don’t you want another one? Yes and Yes are my answers. My son is now 7.5 years old and we have been trying for 3 years now. 5 miscarriages, 2 cancelled IVF cycles, 1 failed iui, 5 D&C’s and 1 hysteroscopy later, I am still part of that 30%! Actually, I’m 1% of women because I’ve had 5 losses.

Continue reading “Secondary Infertility and the Stigma Behind Infertility and Miscarriage”

In Due Time

This year during the holidays (2015), my hubby Jesse, son Addison (Adi) and I took a trip to visit all the in-laws in San Fran. We stayed there a little over 2 weeks. What a trip was. Of course, we had all the normal holiday stuff all families celebrate, but there were was one particular event that brought me to tears. Well two. My nieces Bat Mitvah and the birth of my new nephew.  These were happy tears for the most part. On Dec 30 2015, I was extremely fortunate to meet my sister in-law’s new baby boy. It was literally the day before we were suppose to leave and the day before my birthday. We had to change our flight to meet him, but after $650 and a lot of finagling with the airlines, we changed our flight successfully and got to meet our new baby nephew. Continue reading “In Due Time”

My Story in a BIG Nutshell

When your trying to conceive, one of the greatest joys starts the day you see those two lines on that pregnancy test. I am what they call a POAS (Pee on a stick) addict! I literally have spent hundreds if not thousands of dollars on pregnancy tests in the past 3 years that I have been Trying to Conceive. I wish I had more will power to hold off, but its a REAL problem. The second I see even a squinter, my heart is in it for the long run. Once its dark, that takes me to the next level of hope and dreaming about my next 9 months and there after. Continue reading “My Story in a BIG Nutshell”

Green Berry Blast Fertility Smoothie

Diet plays a huge roll when you are TTC (trying to conceive). When I started this journey 3 years ago, I learned that many foods contribute to not only our overall health, but our fertility as well. So I started incorporating these yummy foods into my smoothies and diet. I also wanted to prepare my body for pregnancy. Just like you need to clean your house when your in-laws come in town, you need to “clean house” and prepare your body for pregnancy. I’ve always been a huge smoothie fan and think it’s a great way to get everything you need in one easy to make delicious drink. This delicious smoothie is loaded with Superfoods that contain Vitamins and Minerals, antioxidants, electrolytes and fiber! This is a great way to start your day while nourishing your body with goodness!  Continue reading “Green Berry Blast Fertility Smoothie”