Lotus Mermaid

I haven’t picked up a pencil in a while, but the other day I felt inspired. Thank you BlackBird jewelry for the inspiration. This is my latest drawing. Like writing, drawing and painting is a form of release for me.

I call this piece Lotus Mermaid. A lotus symbolizes beauty, prosperity, eternity, purity, divinity, and most importantly is used as a symbol of life and fertility. My mermaid of course is a symbol of beauty and strength and is admiring the power and beauty the lotus flower has. #artforthesoul #infertility #Mytherapy
Love and Babydust,
Alla xoxo

Two Years And Counting

I watched the sunrise at the beach this morning. Two years ago today marks the anniversary of my BFP (big fat positive – pregnancy test) from my 1st miscarriage. Since then, I have had 4 more losses. Never in a lifetime did I think I would be fighting this uphill battle. Today, I shed a few tears, but also celebrated my strength, my courage, my perseverance and my blessings that keep me going everyday. This journey through #infertility and #miscarriage has changed me. “Push me down and I will get back up. I may be a little beat up at first, but I will persevere because I’m a warrior!” I pray that this storm will soon be over soon and I get my #rainbowbaby I’ve been praying for. #infertilitysucks #strength

Love and Baby Dust,
Alla xoxo

How To Support Someone Who Is Going Through Infertility and Miscarriage

Most of my posts are geared towards men and women dealing with Infertility and Miscarriage. In honor of Infertility Awareness Week, I wanted to write a post that not only is for my wonderful Infertility Community, but to the general public to help shed this stigma that Infertility and Miscarriage are plagued with. Although I have accepted my status quo, I would like to shed a little light about Infertility and Pregnancy Loss and the struggles that millions of couples go through when trying to build their family.

I recently wrote a post about What Not to Say to Someone Who is Dealing With Infertility And Miscarriage. In lieu of this, I am writing this blog post about “How To Support Someone Who Is Going Through Infertility And Miscarriage.” Hopefully my post will help educate people and allow them to understand the emotional, physical and financial pain that the many people who are faced with dealing with this difficult diagnosis have. The reason I want to do this is because I have personally been dealing with this journey for 3 years. In those 3 years I have had 2 cancelled IVF cycles, 1 failed IUI, 5 pregnancy losses, 6 surgeries and a whole lot of heartache and disappointment.

I have had a very difficult time emotionally dealing with the struggles that this diagnosis brings. It has not only brought on physical and emotional pain, but a financial burden as well since most insurance companies do not cover ANY fertility treatments and many people are left with paying for everything out of pocket. I know a lot of people who have emptied their entire life savings on fertility treatments and still have no baby in their arms. Because of this stigma that Infertility and Pregnancy Loss has, many men and women who are suffering often feel alone when trying to cope with the hand they have been dealt. I know I have felt that way for many years and honestly it wasn’t until recently that I felt comfortable with sharing my journey that was shunned by society. I finally know I have nothing to be ashamed of and have taken a stand. If you are dealing with Infertility or Pregnancy loss, you are not alone. Continue reading “How To Support Someone Who Is Going Through Infertility and Miscarriage”

What NOT To Say To Someone Who Is Dealing With Infertility And Miscarriage

In my 3 years I have been TTC number 2, I have been lucky to have an incredible amount of support from my family and friends, but I have also heard my share of comments that were a second a way from a knee jerk reaction punch to the face! LOL! If you have been TTC, I’m sure you can relate. In the grand scheme of things, I don’t think most people are intentionally trying to hurt you. I do think many people feel uncomfortable with the subject and don’t know what to say so they say things they think will comfort you and most of the time they do the exact opposite. I have learned that the best thing that someone could say to someone dealing with Infertility and Miscarriage is “I’m sorry” or just listen and be a shoulder to cry on.  A simple hug goes a lot farther then “it wasn’t meant to be.” Here are some of the worst things you can say to someone who is struggling with Infertility or had a Miscarriage(s). Continue reading “What NOT To Say To Someone Who Is Dealing With Infertility And Miscarriage”

Chocolate Avocado Fertility Smoothie

I’m so excited to share this yummy smoothie recipe! It is not only packed with vitamins and nutrients, but has loads of folic acid and monounsaturated fat. A recent study shows that this good fat that is in avocados is extremely helpful during fertility and in fact triples the chances of IVF success. The Researchers believe that the this monounsaturated fat not only helps the heart, but also helps increase the chance of fertility by lowering inflammation in the body. So it is great for your health, gets rid of inflammation and is good for my fertility! Sign me up! I already love the taste of avocados, but the added dark chocolate cocoa powder makes it a healthy treat! It is perfect for anytime of the day. I love mine in the morning as chocolate is known to improve your mood! Here are some other reasons why this delicious smoothie is good for fertility. Continue reading “Chocolate Avocado Fertility Smoothie”

Miscarriage – A Letter To My Angel Babies I Lost Too Soon

This is a difficult post for me to write as it digs deep into my emotional suffering from my miscarriages. Anyone who has ever suffered a miscarriage understands the heartache, pain and suffering it causes. I lost 5 babies. This was one of the hardest things I have ever encountered and honestly wasn’t sure if I would ever get my strength back. Each one of those babies meant something to me. Yes, they were all 1st trimester losses (between 7.5-10w) and 1 even a chemical, but they were my babies and I loved every second of carrying them. My 1st one was nearly 3 years ago and my most recent one was a couple of months ago (November of 2015). Sure, time does help and I am ok overall (finally), but that doesn’t mean I am over it. Honestly, I will never be over it. It all ended way too early and is so unfair! I miss them and want them in my arms so bad.

In the time that I have had 5 losses, I have seen many friends and family get pregnant and have 1 baby and some even were lucky enough to have 2 babies. Going through a miscarriage is one of the most challenging things I have had to endure, but after 5 losses I have learned how to get my strength back. It certainly wasn’t easy! As I always have mentioned in my past posts, writing is my outlet to let go. It is my way to mourn and heal. This is one of the things that helps me tremendously. So recently I have decided to write a letter to my angel babies. It is very raw and emotional, but I promise you it has a bright side. It has hope! I have learned that is one of the things that help me through this journey. HOPE!  Continue reading “Miscarriage – A Letter To My Angel Babies I Lost Too Soon”

How To Make Your Marriage Stronger During Your Infertility Journey

In honor of Valentine’s Day, I wanted to write a post about LOVE and how Infertility has made my marriage stronger. My husband and I walked down the isle 8.5 years ago. When we married each other, I knew that we would have conflicts and hurdles to overcome in our life ahead of us. And we have! But I never imagined that one of those hurdles would be Infertility and Miscarriages. I never thought I would be the 1% of women who have recurrent miscarriages. I never thought we would be 12% who suffer infertility! I never thought that in my 5th year of marriage, my husband and I would have to endure the stress, exhaustion and heartache of timed sex, failed fertility treatments, 5 pregnancy losses, 6 D&C’s and 3 hysteroscopies among many other things that this journey brings. Yes, all these lovely things this infertility journey delivers us can be trying on any relationship, but after three years of walking this bumpy road, I can honestly say I feel we have grown closer and stronger. It certainly hasn’t been easy by any means and I remember many days that felt like we were reacting a scene from the movie “The Break-up.” Luckily for us, love concours all! Sure, we haven’t beat this journey yet, but we are doing it together and that is something that I am so thankful for. Here are some of the things that have helped us stay on track while driving down the bumpy dirt road of Infertility. Continue reading “How To Make Your Marriage Stronger During Your Infertility Journey”

Fertility Boost Acai Bowl

I’ve always loved Acai Bowls and recently started making them at home. This dark purple berry has two times the antioxidants as a blueberry! These little berries are known as the “Beauty Berry” and truly does the body good from the inside out. Acai berries offer health benefits such as boosting your immune system, improving metobolic function and is amazing for your skin and hair! Many consider Acai berries to be a Superfood because of its many health benefits including weight loss and anti-aging properties, but there has been a recent study that shows they also aid fertility. So they help me look younger and help aid in my fertility? Sign me up!!! Continue reading “Fertility Boost Acai Bowl”

Maca Love Bomb – Fertility Smoothie

So I recently discovered Maca Powder. I’ve been hearing a lot about it’s claims to help aid fertility so of course, I wanted in.

Maca is a rooted vegetable that grows in the highest altitudes of the Andes Mountains in Peru. This superfood works with your endocrine system to help regulate and balance your hormones, increase energy and is an overall health booster! This radish like root is considered an endocrine adaptogen which is a natural substance like herbs and plants that help our bodies adapt to natural stressors like a demanding job, illness or a busy schedule. Maca is one of the most efficient ways to naturally balance your hormones and has been used for thousands of years to enhance fertility and boost energy. Additionally, some studies suggest the Maca improves sperm count, menopausal symptoms and libido among other ailments.

Although Maca is a natural plant, it is still very important to talk to your Doctor/RE/OBGYN before use. Continue reading “Maca Love Bomb – Fertility Smoothie”

Infertility Brain – This Is Your Brain On Infertility!

I think there is something wrong with me. This Infertility crap is completely all consuming. So the other day I was scrolling through FaceBook and I saw a Care.com Ad that says “Looking for a child?” Ummm, Actually…….. YES I am!!! LMAO! I did a double take of the ad and realized it said, “Looking for child care?” Yep, there is really something wrong with me that I see that ad and my brain interprets that. No matter where I turn, there’s a baby or a pregnant woman. Or worse, a pregnant woman with a baby! It’s completely unavoidable! This is your brain on Infertility!  I call it Infertility Brain. Pregnant women get Pregnancy Brain and Infertile women get Infertility Brain! LOL! Continue reading “Infertility Brain – This Is Your Brain On Infertility!”