Miscarriage – A Letter To My Angel Babies I Lost Too Soon

This is a difficult post for me to write as it digs deep into my emotional suffering from my miscarriages. Anyone who has ever suffered a miscarriage understands the heartache, pain and suffering it causes. I lost 5 babies. This was one of the hardest things I have ever encountered and honestly wasn’t sure if I would ever get my strength back. Each one of those babies meant something to me. Yes, they were all 1st trimester losses (between 7.5-10w) and 1 even a chemical, but they were my babies and I loved every second of carrying them. My 1st one was nearly 3 years ago and my most recent one was a couple of months ago (November of 2015). Sure, time does help and I am ok overall (finally), but that doesn’t mean I am over it. Honestly, I will never be over it. It all ended way too early and is so unfair! I miss them and want them in my arms so bad.

In the time that I have had 5 losses, I have seen many friends and family get pregnant and have 1 baby and some even were lucky enough to have 2 babies. Going through a miscarriage is one of the most challenging things I have had to endure, but after 5 losses I have learned how to get my strength back. It certainly wasn’t easy! As I always have mentioned in my past posts, writing is my outlet to let go. It is my way to mourn and heal. This is one of the things that helps me tremendously. So recently I have decided to write a letter to my angel babies. It is very raw and emotional, but I promise you it has a bright side. It has hope! I have learned that is one of the things that help me through this journey. HOPE!  Continue reading “Miscarriage – A Letter To My Angel Babies I Lost Too Soon”

Secondary Infertility and the Stigma Behind Infertility and Miscarriage

Resolve is the National Association of Infertility and defines Secondary Infertility as the “Inability to become pregnant, or to carry a pregnancy to term, following the birth of one or more biological children. The birth of the first child does not involve any assisted reproductive technologies or fertility medications.”

Yep, that’s me. It’s something I never thought I would be a part of. I don’t know how many times I’ve answered questions like; Is he your only chid and Don’t you want another one? Yes and Yes are my answers. My son is now 7.5 years old and we have been trying for 3 years now. 5 miscarriages, 2 cancelled IVF cycles, 1 failed iui, 5 D&C’s and 1 hysteroscopy later, I am still part of that 30%! Actually, I’m 1% of women because I’ve had 5 losses.

Continue reading “Secondary Infertility and the Stigma Behind Infertility and Miscarriage”